A guide speaks about ways to move past childhood trauma and find forgiveness and happiness.

I know my childhood trauma, pain and survival techniques are interfering with my ability to be happy, to love and to be at peace, I need to leave these in the past, so how do I do this and get myself to a better place, a healthier place, a place where I can be a better person and naturally helping others through who I am?

Oh my dear, you have no idea who you are. You are a wonderful person. You help people all the time. Just because you don’t actually see the results of all your action doesn’t mean you haven’t helped many. I know what it is you speak of. You feel you are numb from that that has occurred. You gave a great gift that was not completely fulfilled very early in your life. And you created a façade that helped you to survive.

And then when you actually break through the façade and you start to feel the pain, you create a big bandage, layers and layers of it, which keeps you from feeling the pain. But dearest one you never, ever forget. And you never leave it behind. It becomes part of you. But the only thing that changes is your approach and your attitude or understanding of it.

So now you can become the healer of you, or the parent of you, or the protector of you. And now you can look upon that that you offered and gave in love and acceptance, that was perhaps abused or not used to the greatness of your heart’s willingness to do so (and in time you will understand what I speak). And your job now is to accept that that is what occurred, and to love yourself, forgive yourself, forgive all others. And then it becomes a part of you, but not a burden part of you—a wonderful part of you, that has strength and depth and empathy and compassion.

You have walked through fire and you have healed—but your calluses are not keeping you from your world. They will help you to feel your world.

So are there specific ways she can move towards that?

There are many beings that can help with this. But the most important one is you, yourself. Are you willing to embrace what occurred with a loving, open heart? And then choose to turn it inside out—from being a negative to being the amazing survivor you are. Take time to feel that that you felt—a feeling of separation, loneliness.

You see my dear, if you do not take time to feel all parts of your being you are not whole. And that is what you are experiencing now. Because part of your physical body does not want you to proceed any farther without balancing all of this. And then when you are whole and balanced you are ready to meet the love and proceed in life to what you need to do

Counselors sometimes help people; but often friends are somewhat hesitant to help you. They feel compassion and may make choices and judgments that you do not need. You want someone who will mirror—so that you can hear your words and hear how you are not allowing yourself to move forward—that what occurred is holding you back and judging you in some ways as not being good enough to love.

I think I understand what you are saying and you talk about the bandages that people use to insulate themselves from feeling it. I know that many people are in this situation…

And I hope they understand that the bandage is not necessarily a cloth bandage; it could be a career or an obsession with something or a phobia that hides it, deeper and deeper…

So it sounds as though the most important thing is to allow yourself to feel that pain…

Yes, remove the bandage. Stand and be present in that that you feel now, with the consciousness of your mind now. Understand that the thoughts and the feelings might be very childish. Do not judge it but feel it. You are not alone.