A feeling of not being good enough
May asks how she can boost her self-confidence. She says she often feels she is not good enough. For example when people complement her on her singing she batters herself. She has very little self-esteem and is worried about her exams.
Dearest one, you are an amazing being. You might think that your ancient culture is part of this. Societies often set rules of acceptance by beings. But you have surpassed all of these needs of society’s rules, dearest one. It is hard for you to be on both sides of this understanding, for that is how you feel. You feel you walk a tightrope in the middle, not sure where you belong. Firstly you belong within you. You are a beautiful being and you will do very well in school. Worry not about how others do and don’t judge yourself against them. Judge yourself not against anyone.
Partially these are old understandings that you are trying to move away from. They are like an old memorized tape that goes on and on in your mind. It is in your conscious mind, not your spirit mind. Your spirit is awareness and consciousness is mostly through your heart openings. And you do great battle between the two and that is why you often find singing a wonderful release for you. But speaking not. When you ask questions you freeze up but when you’re allowed to use your voice to pour out beautiful energy you feel freed. Never stop that. Sing to the rafters—and judge yourself not. Many things are opening for you now, so quickly, so fast that you might want to retreat to old ways. But just be still, breathe, and remember you cannot undo growth. Just bask in in it for a while. It will feel comfortable in a while, my blessed one.