Zarah writes:

I’ve read on other posts here that if I want to attract love and happiness, I must radiate it. I wrote an expressive note to D. I wrote to him in a way I believe he would understand all I was trying to convey. However, another person would have seen the words as less than happy. I felt to continue in the way I had been communicating had created a situation where he could step on me and get away with disrespectful behaviour. I felt I was standing up for myself. Was this an incorrect way to express if indeed I am wanting to attract love? And if you would, in the past where did he and I once live?

The guide’s response:

Well in truth, dearest one, you have already resolved much of this.  By beginning with your letter you were truly expressing your state of being.  And you must understand you cannot be responsible for another’s growth.  Did you put yourself in a vulnerable position?  Only if you felt vulnerable; only if another’s attitude could affect you to the point that you think less of yourself.

What you were truly finding out about yourself is that you were in pain with this relationship.  But who was putting you in pain?  This is what you must look at.  You were putting yourself in the pain, my dear.  You have to understand that you cannot control another being’s growth or feelings or where they may be.   They must be that that they are and you must be that that you are.

What was meant by ‘radiating light and love’ is this:  Allow the love to flow through you, let it not be restrained in any part of you.  For if you restrain that feeling, that is what you will draw to you—another being who is restrained in love.

And so allow the love to flow through you like the most beautiful air and essence that flows through all beings.  And yes, then you will radiate.  It’s not a false face that you put on or a phony smile, or a drawing attention to your sheer bliss.  It’s just being in the light, allowing it to flow in and out as you breathe it in and out.   And this is how it will work, it will draw the same energy to you, my dear.

As to a past life with D, as you call him, yes you have had several past lifetimes.  That is why you often come together with that one and feel so at peace and comforted by the speaking and the wisdom.  It’s almost like an old shoe you have known before.  But this time that shoe wants to be a little bit different in many ways and that is what you find very frustrating.  Allow the growth of the other; allow the growth of yourself, my dear.  And know that the frustration that is there is because there is yet an incomplete element of growth.  But you are doing your part; that is all that is asked of you, my dear.  Bless you.