Anonymous writes:

I’m often suicidal although a part of me understands what i’m going through. And without details I’m gonna think you know what I’m talking about. I think and feel that i completely screwed my life through my past self inflicted trauma. And then sometimes I think i had to go through what i’ve been through to help others. Did I make this promise or did i just create this state on my own or both. Can you please break it down and give me some clarity on my present suffering and my future. Thank you.

The guide’s response:

Blessed one, you already answered your question:  part promise, and you created the avenue through which to help.  Nothing is a mistake, dearest one.  The actions you went through were you trying very hard to understand who you were at this time and place.  To understand the situation of what you had been through, created the lack of love of self.   You will teach many.

You are experiencing now, just simply, a remorse.  But may I ask you please, to love yourself, to love the actions that brought you to the understanding.  Do not judge them as terrible or disgraceful–for they were not.  No one judges you my dear, but you have decided to judge yourself very harshly.  To begin again, you have already done so, for you have spirit wisdom.  You have spirit sight and spirit hearing.  You are going to start to manifesting these in many ways.  In fact all of your actions will have that beautiful ability to touch all beings:  your words, your art, your presence, your gentle voice…can only be gentle and loving now.  For you are learning, and loving yourself.  Bless you my child.  Nothing is lost.  Everything is love.